210degrees

Tasks are either acceptable behaviors or non-acceptable behaviors.  Years after his recovery he still viewed things this way.  Addictive personality.  He had one, everyone knew it.  He craved the structure of addiction.  He didn’t do drugs, he wasn’t stupid.  There were better addictions. Better yourself. Best grades, best quality. The hottest girls.  The best body. Good goals until you’re bent over a toilet retching at the scent of your vomit because you exceeded the day’s calorie count. Fattie.  But he’s recovered now (and he’s not fat either).  He ate that sandwich today and didn’t throw it up. Acceptable and exceptional.

Her hatred of hangovers was slightly trumped by her love of champagne apparently.  Music was playing in her ear.  She opened her eyes, eyelids sticking together a bit at first.  Her brain expanded, banging against her skull in time with a k-pop track. She ripped the earbuds from her ears.  A fleeting memory of paranoid drunken thoughts and sleeping with her lights on and ipod playing passed through her mind.  Working off of muscle memory, she grabbed her phone.  Just a text from Paul. “You alright? lol” was all it said. She’d call him later. Roll over. Sleep forever. Hopefully.